The answer is 4:
The first politician makes a motion in committee to have the light bulb changed. The second politician seconds the motion of the first. The matter is then referred to the Department of Energy to determine: Whether there is, in fact a burned out light bulb, if so of what kind, why it failed in the first place, who is to be blamed for the failure, whether the light bulb really needs to be replaced, and if so, at what cost. (We don’t want to waste precious tax payer dollars.)
Having determined that it is, in fact, a light bulb and that it is, in fact, burned out and needs to be replaced, the Department of Energy then refers the matter to the Commerce Department to determine whether or not the light bulb failed prematurely, and the Justice Department to discover what can be done to prevent any further waste of the tax payer’s money on substandard light bulbs. In the mean time, the Bureau of Labor Statistics is set to work to determine what the average cost of changing light bulbs in the known world has been for at least the last 50 years.
With all this information gathered for the Committee’s review, the matter is debated and passed and sent to the main chamber.
Once passed by the main body, politician number three then must raise the matter in the Appropriations Committee where politician four seconds the motion to appropriate the funds to change the light bulb.
The committee immediately sends the matter to the Office of Management And Budget to see if funds are available for changing the light bulb. OMB, in turn, calls the Central Contractor Registry to see if there are any qualified contractors on the list capable of changing a light bulb, and if so, at what cost. The Justice Department is then contacted to determine the extent of tax payer liability in case something goes wrong, and is directed to draw up a contract to ensure minimum tax payer exposure for liability in case something goes wrong in the changing of the light bulb. To further save funds, Procurement is directed to take a complete inventory of its light bulbs to see if they have any of the appropriate type in stock, saving the tax payer from having to buy one on the open market at the last minute.
Finally, all this information is returned to the Appropriations Committee, who votes to approve funding for changing the light bulb, and sends the bill to the floor.
As soon as the bill has passed, the Office of Contracts assembles the 125 page bid package, which includes not only the contract, but a description of the job, the qualifications required, the findings of the Departments of Energy and Commerce concerning the appropriate type, style, and installation methods, and expected life span for the new light bulb, as well as the insurance requirements and reporting requirements the winning bidder must have to ensure that the tax payers money has been well spent.
Once the bid date has come, all bids are opened and sorted through to find the lowest qualified bidder. Not one penny more than necessary will be spent.
And finally, with the contract awarded, under close supervision of the Inspector General, the light bulb is changed!
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